WILL UNWOUND #668: “Weekend Meditation – Joe Pa”
January 29, 2012Just three months after he was fired from his job as head football coach for Penn State University, Joe Paterno died. From all internet accounts, his death was treated in Pennsylvania with the respect and attention normally reserved for heads of state.
Paterno, of course, is the man Pennsylvanians affectionally call “Joe Pa” probably because he was a father figure for so long. He coached at Penn State from 1950 to 2011 and won a zillion games. Stubbornly refusing to retire voluntarily and even more stubbornly resisting every attempt by the Penn State administration to force him to retire, Paterno soldiered on as Head Coach through the age of 86.
Although every praiseworthy thing that can be said about a person has been said about Paterno this past week, I still feel sorry for him. I feel especially sorry after learning that he had 17 grandchildren.
Big time college football is a meat grinding money machine. Yes, the head coaches make millions of dollars in salary but in return they sacrifice their lives. The average work day is around 18 hours and that doesn’t include the never ending recruiting trips that they have to take to sweet talk 18 year old high school prima donnas into going to their school.
I feel sorry for Paterno because he became a prisoner of his own success. It’s how he defined himself. In fact he was once quoted as saying that he didn’t want to retire because it would kill him. He was right.
Apparently no one ever told Paterno that retirement is the time period when you can really evolve as a human being…mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Why? Because you have the freedom and you have the time. You’re no longer working for the man. You can be the person you always wanted to be. You can follow your bliss.
It’s even better if you’ve been blessed with grandchildren. I see grandparents taking grandkids to the library, I see them waiting outside the door at school to pick them up and drive them home, I see them playing with them at the park, and there is always this glow of happiness.
This is not an easy world in which to raise children. They have all kinds of influences and temptations that we never had to deal with. It’s the kind of world where it’s good to have a grandpa and a grandma.
That’s why I feel sorry for Joe Pa. He may have been a father figure to everyone in the state of Pennsylvania, but did that leave him enough time to be a grandpa to his own grandchildren?
Amen, brother Will. Any job can suck your life away if you let it. It’s good to recall the message of Benedict XVI: It is important to take some time to be a human being, not just a human doing. Grandkids and retirement is certainly that.
Thanks, Bill. I love that quote.
You make your choices and you pay the price that is demanded.
He never should have turned a blind eye. It was past time to go.
May he have a safe journey.
Agree. He never really evolved and PSU paid a big price.
Actually, reporting it to his superiors when he didn’t know it for a fact was not turning a blind eye and those who did turn a totally blind eye were not sanctioned.
Given the number of false allegations of child abuse especially in the era he was told of it, it is not surprising that more wasn’t done. That is one of the problems of crying wolf as many were doing in the era he was told of it.
Given his age and stage, I rather believe him when he said that he just didn’t understand that that kind of thing really happened. He had a normal upbringing, born in 1927 if memory serves, and didn’t really believe in that level of evil. It is a shame that the way he was hounded and his own regrets of not doing more killed him.
I’ll give you that, especially since the one who’s walking away from this with his #%@& not stinking is the current PA governor since, during the time allegations were arising against Sandusky, he was PA Atty. General (he had the power to launch an investigation but chose to ignore the allegations; former Sen. Rick Santorum was praising him, too, for his work with children during one of the times Sandusky was being investigated for sexual abuse). I also take issue with the judge who clearly should’ve recused herself from his hearing since she had done work for his charity org. (conflict of interest, anyone?). The ones who had direct involvement with this are coming out smelling like a rose.
The choices you make in life are a big part of what defines you. Success has a price, and if you decide to pay that price, you may never realize what it has cost you and those around you. Successful people tend to be blind that way. Still, a major component of American culture is the worship of success.
Retirement is a blessing for many people, while for others it is a curse. Be glad, Will, that you could retire and that you have found blessings in it. But you might also feel compassion for those who will never have grandchildren to spend time with and enjoy.
Wayne, grandchildren are a gift that some receive and some don’t. Yes, I feel for those who want grandchildren and never have them, and yes, I feel for those who have them and don’t realize what they have. Very wise thoughts on the price of success, Wayne. Very wise. Thanks.
I’m childless by choice, which means I’ll probably have a harder time retiring. My time in this profession is a cliche drop in the bucket compared to Paterno’s time as a coach, but I already find it difficult to leave work at work. Honestly, “librarian” is as much who I am as it is what I do for a living.
That’s why I decided to make all of my goals for this year non-professional. Spend more time with my cat (who’s getting older), check out some state & national parks that are near me, read 50+ books for pleasure.
On the other hand, I’m leaving this comment to take a break from a work related project I’m working on on a Sunday afternoon in my off-time.
Jessica, I don’t think the lack of children or grandchildren necessarily makes retirement more difficult. Retirement is all about following your bliss. You must have such dreams, no?
Will, you are so right. Of course, my first grandchild is due in mid-May 2012, so I can’t use personal experience. Even after he/she is born, I will be living in a different time zone, and different climate zone.
I CAN relate to retirement. I am planning mine soon. In late 2013, I will be eligible to collect a second pension, which will give me enough income to retire comfortably in Panama. BTW, Panama loves American retirees, has many folks who speak English, uses the dollar as its currency, and offers incentives to live there as a retiree. In addition, there are no hurricanes, and the weather is gorgeous all year around. (No more shoveling snow. EVER.)
My wife and I plan to laze about, to read, and to generally enjoy life to the fullest while I am healthy!
Well that is one plan anyway. We will see!
Former, sounds like a plan…a great plan. Stay connected to Will Unwound and let us know how your retirement evolves both in the planning and doing stages. Thanks!
I’m with you! I love the work — and I frequently find it hard to leave it at work too because library work isn’t just a job for me it is a calling.
Coupla things. First, Paterno wasn’t in it for the money. A long time ago some NFL team tried to recruit him and he talked to them. Word got out and bumper stickers began appearing saying, “Say it ain’t so, Joe!” he was interviewed on 60 minutes and talked frankly of the lure of the NFL and the (then) big bucks of a million dollar salary. He stayed, of course, and the bucks caught up with him, much of which he gave back to the school. Even after he was fired he gave $100K back to the school.
You have a very special relationship with your grandchildren. It’s probably not normal. I’m content to see mine once a month. Of course, I never saw one set of my own grandparents and my other grandfather only once, other grandmother I think three or four times total. Patterns are different. Our daughter is 40 and calls here every single day, sometimes twice, to recount every breath she has taken. She depends on Mom for life counseling. I had to tell her, “You know, when I was your age I didn’t have a mother to call.” And she’s not allowed to call before Noon on weekends, but at 12:01, Ring!
So now you know about Get a Rope! Right?
mick, good points. For me grandchildren are blessings for 4 reasons: 1) I never expected them. 2) All my grandparents were dead before my birth, 3) The world today is a jungle for kids, 4) when I die no one will care about Will the librarian, blogger, or city manager, but maybe just maybe one of my grandkids will say, “Grandpa Will was a cool grandpa.” But you’re right that’s me. Although I do see grandparents everyday whose lives like mine are illuminated with love because of the little ones. And yes, now I get “get a rope.” I don’t have tv service so I never saw those awesome commercials. Thanks.
For several years our Sunday dinner routine was come home from church and sit down to a meal with mother-in-law, daughter & son-in-law and their three girls. I know the girls’ lives are fuller for having known their great grandmother that well and I still miss those Sunday dinners even though I got lots of guff for my limited repertoire of menu ideas the Sundays my wife was at work — my wife’s cooking covers a wider range but I’m pretty much a pot roast & potatoes guy — although one grand daughter says I make the best mac n’ cheese of all her acquaintance.
Another grand daughter has resolved to be a regular Red Cross blood donor due to my example, and they all are aware of family heritage.
If one gets pleasure from seeing one’s children as responsible adults, the gratification is even greater when the grand children are making that transition.
Stan, this is exactly what I’m talking about. Thanks!
Re-reading, I hope everyone knows that Nebraska meals are breakfast, morning coffee, dinner at noon, afternoon coffee & supper. (Especially during haying season.) In sedentary work, with retirement looming, one substantial meal a day is enough to keep the weight about even.
But the grand-children thing. When our first grandchild was born, I had one surviving grandparent & so was the middle in a 5- generation photo. With normal life expectancy my wife & I will get to know great-grandchildren.
I do have a couple of points to make (separate from each other). My first point is that I do get concerned when I see how some grandparents are practically raising their grandchildren since their parents either work or they’re the full-time caretakers. There is also the other side of this story, the one where there are those (like myself) who never had the pleasure of being around their grandparents. I think ol’ JoePa had an enormous ego and the Board of Trustees liked the name recognition and the many millions of dollars he gave to Penn State. Call me insensitive but I think everyone got something out of JoePa staying as long as he did.
Everyone but his grandkids! Thanks, Jeannine.
And so the deification continues…..
It was inevitable that he would die without ever having to testify.
I feel for his children and grandchildren – his lady wife, not so much. Whether he was in it for the money or the glory or the love of the game, he was in it too long and his judgement was impaired. He did little or nothing to help his assistant’s (alleged) victims and he will answer for that at some karmic time. One might say he aided and abetted and was therefor an accomplice.
Am I too hard on the man? Perhaps, but I have no use for college (or professional) football or the people who make it their life-work.
On a happier note I would like to say that my search for a dog is over. As of yesterday I am the “parent” of Ginger, a 9 year old Australian Cattle Dog AND Lady, a 6 year old Shiba Inu Corgi mix. Both from the same shelter and both with impeccable manners. I didn’t intend to get two dogs but I just couldn’t choose so I got both. My life is forever changed, I am sure. If I knew how to send photos to the tavern, I would.
Cool! Congrats on the new member of you family. Enjoy them! And I know just what you went through as the last time I went to the SPCA to adopt a cat — I brought two home!
At last, a librarian with a dog! I was beginning to think I was more likely to be struck by a meteorite than to encounter a female librarian with a dog.
Thank you. Sterotypes begone!
Pfft. Stereotypes!
Joe, I’ve always defined myself as a cat person and I love cats. But I’ve also had dogs and I love them too. This is dog time. Lady is much too interested in the parakeets so that will bear some watching, otherwise all is cool.
This librarian and her librarian roommate have *six* dogs. Used to have a couple of cats as well but after they died, and we have roommates mother in the house, we haven’t gotten another cat — yet.
Lynne, your interpretation of Joe Pa is exactly the same as mine. Congrats on Ginger and Lady.
It’s disappointing that a librarian would not only comment but make judgements on something of which they did not take time to research the facts. Sandusky was not Paterno’s assistant at the time. Aid and abet, seriously? He wasn’t even a witness! He was like the 3rd or 4th person down the line in a game of telephone. Also, look at how much money he gave back to the university and how he was concerned more about his players getting a good education than win-loss record. See “Academic All-Americans” and graduation rate. Try looking up this name: “Adam Taliaferro”. Paterno gave a a lot of opportunities to African-Americans and athletes from low-income backgrounds; not only a chance to play football but he was a father figure and made sure they got an education.
He said “IN HINDSIGHT”, I wish I had done more” but who looks back and doesn’t say they had done something more or done something different? Would you want to be judged as harshly as you have judged others? My preference is to leave judgements up to God because it is not my place. Whether you believe that or not, at least independently look into what your talking about first. If you don’t like college football and know nothing about it, then don’t comment until you educate yourself.
Daisy, what you say is true but I guess my point is that Joe Pa lingered on too long. Why couldn’t he cut the cord? He did many great things but, come on, he became a travesty when he stayed on past 70. Football is a young man’s sport. The arrest record of his players in the later years was very troubling. My only point is this: Joe Pa should have retired, smelled the flowers and enjoyed his grandkids.
Believe me, Will, I said he should’ve retired at 80. It wouldn’t have been like he had to completely disappear from the campus (I’m sure they would’ve loved having him on the Board of Trustees or having him appear at fundraisers). He got greedy.
I have read pretty much everything published about this case so I am not commenting without knowledge. I said I have no use for college sports, not that I know nothing about them. You can justify it all you care to but the man made huge and serious mistakes. Those mistakes don’t completely negate the good he did but the surely so tarnish the shine.
Will-
Really? I know the people in my family work until they literally can’t. It’s a family tradition, and trust me, this does not keep them from smelling said roses. Some folks can’t afford to not work and some folks enjoy it and it makes their life better. I know that my grandmother working makes her a lot easier to get along with than when she is not.
And football being a young man’s sport? I would laugh at you, but I know you are being serious. The playing of football may be for youthful bodies, but I’ve seen older coaches make better coaches one too many times.
I’m trouble by others dictating when the appropriate time is for someone else to retire or that they should “enjoy” grandchildren, and what not. Will, you always say “live and let live” but you are always quick to pull out your personal measuring stick to see if they are living what you consider a “quality” life. Whether it’s books, libraries, or retirement age, you can be awful quick to negate someone’s actions.
As far as other issues surrounding Paterno, I have been a victim, and worked with victims. People are making really quick judgments about complicated matters concerning Paterno. Having helped victims in court trials and testified myself I have learned that issues are always more than just wrong and right when extraneous parties are involved.
@Lynne I–I was almost ready to put on my tin foil hat & say this was all a bit too convenient. Maybe not convenient enough for everyone involved but I couldn’t help but think he managed to leave this world with a shred of his dignity left because I couldn’t imagine what was in store for the university (and the Paternos) had JoePa been around long enough to testify at Sandusky’s trial. The university is going to get plenty of press as it is with the one coach who saw what happened; I guess they felt they definitely didn’t need a bigger headache than what they already have. In spite of everything, Penn State still needs ol’ JoePa since he still has his many fans (and his name will still bring in money).
I’m not into sports at all — in fact I’m not even sure of the Super Bowl is today or next Sunday and I’m not even curious. I’d rather read a book or by far — watch Downton Abbey tonight.
As for Joe Paterno — I agree with WIll that being in the retirement zone, assuming you have sufficient funds to live on and still do things with, is a freeing experience. Not that I would know from personal experience — but I have it on good authority! My mother has been in the retirement zone for 20 years this year and she loves it because she can do whatever she wants whenever she wants. And how many people would turn that down? Not many, and certainly not yours truly although even if I had the funds I have no desire to retire just yet — there is too much going on in library land today.
Linda, wise words here on retirement. You are correct: do not retire until you are ready. Timing is everything. But when the time is right, get out and don’t look back.
I knew my grandparents and most of my great-grandparents. They all worked up until the day they fell over. I still have to grandmothers: one still works (74) and the other is retired (77). I’m sure they love their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, especially when they are driving away from the house
.
Personally, I’m looking forward to not having grandchildren. I do have fond memories of mine taking me to work and putting me to work, showing me how to live off the land, and telling me about their lives when they were young (my maternal grandmother has been all over the world, which given when she was a young woman, that was impossible for her race and gender, and she use to go see greco-roman wrestling matches for fun). However, their work was instrumental in showing me that if I wanted anything, I was expected to work hard for it. No one was going to give me anything. And if anything, they were going to make sure I didn’t get it.
AE…thanks for a great comment. You are very fortunate that you had grandparents who took time with you.
I’m sure they enjoyed the time….but it was also free labor
When you are a kid, it doesn’t always strike home that slopping hogs, cleaning houses, and lawn care is work….
Everyone is allowed an opinion. It is nice to have some facts when you are going to make a comment about someone and their family or other aspects of a life that you really don’t know anything about. From all accounts and I know friends of the family, Joe was a fantastic husband, father, and grandfather. Maybe not everyone could do all the things he did and still be a good grandfather, but by all accounts he could. You may have an opinion on his coaching (and I disagree with you) but I think it is ridiculous to be making comments on his parenting and grandparenting. Will, I normally appreciate your blogs but this was uncalled for.
I tend to side with Bonnie. Never assume someone is a bad parent or grandparent (I’ve had people assume that about my parents because they couldn’t afford to have a parent at home and I was a latch key kid).
Besides, I know several college, division I coaches that do very well with their families and extended families.
I don’t think Will was criticizing the coach’s grandparenting style. I think he felt sorry for Paterno that he wasn’t able to spend as much time with his grandkids as he would have been able to if he had retired.
Bonnie, I don’t think I called Joe Pa a bad grandpa. What I said was that I hope he had time for his little ones.
Bonnie, on re-reading the post I really think my tone was more of concern than criticism.
I agree with Bonnie about judging Paterno’s grandparenting. Unless you are close to the family you can’t know. As a native Pennsylvanian and a proud Penn State grad, I want to celebrate what he did for the University that was NOT related to football. He saved the Classics Department when there was a threat to eliminate it. He and his wife have been long time supporters of the LIBRARY and spearheaded a campagain that raised $14 million for improvement of the libraries. The libraries distribute a READ bookmark picturing the Paternos http://live.psu.edu/story/49808 The Paternos have supported the liberal arts in numerous ways http://www.la.psu.edu/news/farewell-to-joe-paterno-a-legendary-liberal-arts-leader. Joe Paterno said “A world class university needs a world class library.” How many football coaches have had such an impact on libraries and the liberal arts?
Fran, no one is saying that Joe Pa didn’t do great things for Penn State. My hope is that he had a chance to enjoy his own family. I hope he did.
I guess my question is why it is a concern for anyone else but Paterno’s family.
I’m glad you brought up his contributions to the university. He graduated from Brown and appreciated a thorough education. He had planned to become a lawyer but was persuaded into becoming a coach in the 1950s (which Paterno said that his father wasn’t too thrilled about). He always believed in a blending of academics and athletics, which he learned at Brown, and his team consistently had above-average academic scores.
I feel if he did all that for a group of students he didn’t know, he probably could wrangle up time for the grandchildren. And if he couldn’t that is a personal issue for him and his family.
I don’t see anything that Will said as being critical of Joe Paterno. Instead, he seems to be meditating on the choices that we all make in life and the cost of these choices. Regarding the defense of JoePa here, let’s clarify a few things. First, no one has ever said that JoePa didn’t do many great things for PSU, he did and the majority of the focus has been on those things this week. Unfortunately, when most needed JoePa failed miserably, which is why PSU had to fire him. I could point out the many failures, but this is not really the issue here. But for everyone here, if someone reported to you that a child was being molested in the bathroom at your library, would you just tell your superiors and think that this was enough.
I can actually speak to this and this is why I’ve become increasingly tired of the talk. As I said above, I have been a victim, I have worked with victims, and I have worked in child services.
The answer to your question is it depends. And the reason why I say that is that you may do something, but you never know. And even if you do something, doesn’t mean there will be a case, even if it was reported to authorities (child services and the law enforcement). Several incidents in this particular case were reported to law enforcement. No charges were filed. I’ve been on cases where the state, according to that state’s law cannot take a child protective report, and, depending on evidence, the case may never go to trial. I’ve worked as a CASA volunteer in which eye witness testimony was ruled inadmissible or juries have found reasonable doubt.
Now, personally, and I can tell you this from experience, I would tell you what I would do. I would separate the alleged victim and perpetrator. Removing the victim without violent incident is crucial because creating to vicious a scene can be damaging. Especially if this is ongoing. Next, I would take the child to a hospital if possible. I would not confront the perpetrator. That is not my purpose. I would have followed the rules according to the school structure. We recently reviewed our own university’s rules. If, and only if, I found their investigation lacking, would I make my information know to the local protective agency, in this case, it would have been residential child care or child care licensing, which is the auspice this fell under. They would notify the law enforcement. I know this because I worked for two years taking reports on children who had been sexually and physically abused and neglected in homes, residential care facilities, and child care centers. Law enforcement could be contacted first, but they would more than likely refer you to these agencies even if they investigated, and especially if there was no outcry at the present time from the victim. Outcry from the victim at the time of the crime is crucial.
You may not want to hear that. As a survivor of childhood rape, it may be unexpected coming from me. But that, after all the years of working where I worked, would be plan.
I hope that answers your question. I believe that Paterno was naive in believe that something that was reported to him and that he reported to the board would be handled. But I refuse to scapegoat him for a larger system.