WILL UNWOUND #585: “Bad Boss Behaviors”
October 18, 2011Great discussion yesterday about the library job happiness index.
I was not surprised that most of you gave “good boss” a very high rating even higher than “good bennies” and “good pay.” Most of you, especially those of you who have had bad bosses, understand the extreme importance of having a good boss in the overall workplace quality of life.
You can have a wonderful director, a wonderful spouse, wonderful children, and a wonderful house, but if you have a bad boss, a really bad boss, it can ruin your entire life. Over a period of months and years, the stress and depression caused by a bad boss can actually necessitate you to seek therapy, get medication, sell your wonderful house, uproot your wonderful children, and move across country to a new job. I have even known some librarians who have fled the profession all together because of a bad boss.
Judging from your comments yesterday, bad bosses abound in the library profession. My guess, however, is that bad bosses abound in every profession. No profession has a corner on the bad boss market.
My theory about bad bosses is a simple one: bad bosses perpetuate bad bosses. Say there are five of you working for a bad boss. Let’s say 3 of the 5 want to eventually advance into management. Where do they learn their supervisory skills? That’s right – the bad boss.
There is a huge gap in most management curricula. I took every management course offered by my graduate library school, and 20 years later I went on to get an MPA. Neither course of study offered a class in Direct Supervision 101. Both curricula simply assumed that you were a budding CEO. That’s right, the academic world starts you at the very top. You learn all the tools…finance, budgeting, policy development, and strategic planning…you need to know to run a large organization and none of the tools you need to know to supervise a small front line work team. The basic flaw in this thinking is that the director is the only supervisor who matters. Your director could be Mother Theresa but it wouldn’t matter if your direct supervisor was Barney Fife.
While many aspiring supervisors learn their supervisory behaviors from bad bosses, a few insightful staffers watch the bad boss and learn the “don’ts.” Here is where, with your help, this blog can be a great resource for the library profession. Off the top of my head I am going to list some of the bad boss behaviors I witnessed in my working days. Then in the comment section, I want all of you Unwinders to list bad boss behaviors you have seen. Then on a sidebar I will compile the entire list and hopefully this list will make the rounds in libraries big and small and maybe we can change some bad boss behaviors. Although, I have to ironically admit that one of the defining characteristics of a bad boss is an unwillingness to admit faults. Oh well, let’s try it anyway. Here are my DON’TS.
- Don’t raise your voice when you are wrong.
- Don’t ask for workplace ideas and then ignore them.
- Don’t say you have an open door policy and then continually look at your watch when someone enters.
- Don’t put up a sign on your office wall that says…WHAT PART OF NO DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?
- Don’t preface every meeting with an employee with the question: “Is this going to take long.”
- Don’t put a bumper sticker on your car that says: MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY.
- Don’t bring in a box of donuts on Friday and then eat half of them.
- Don’t center your “morale program” around a pot-luck.
- Don’t time your employees when they take a potty break.
- Don’t send someone an e-mail to give them bad news when their cubicle is 3 feet from your office.
- Don’t tell us about your PhD from the School of Hard Knocks.
- Don’t ask for a doctor’s note when someone calls in sick.
Finally don’t say any of the following things:
- This is the way we’ve always done it.
- It is what it is.
- If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
- That won’t work.
- We don’t have any money for that.
- This community is not ready for that.
- A word to the wise: if you want to get ahead in this organization don’t make waves.
- Our director is a Luddite.
- We tried that 30 years ago. It didn’t work then. It won’t work now.
- Don’t stir up a hornet’s nest.
- Your idea has never been field tested.
- Our patrons like things just the way they are.
- Do you want to be branded a troublemaker?
- This is the real world; not a library school classroom.
- I love your enthusiasm, but your idea is impractical.
- If you want to be a change agent go work the cash register at the circ desk.
- Right now is not a good time for change. Maybe later.
- That’s an interesting idea, but let some other library implement it and work out the bugs first. We don’t like to be the guinea pig around here.
- In my day we had to hand crank a ditto machine. Our computer equipment may be old and out of date but it’s a heck of a lot better than what I had to work with when I was your age. Try stamping books all day with a hand stamp.
- Have you thought about the unintended consequences of your idea?
- This could be a CLM on your part….a “career limiting move.”
- It’s too risky.
- Don’t upset the City Council (Library Board…Board of Regents…School Board, etc.)
- Folks around here don’t cotton to outsiders coming in and shaking things up.
- This is a conservative town.
- Put your idea down on paper then we’ll consider it along with 159 other proposals in our 2012 budget cycle.
- Where is the money going to come from for this?
- Rome wasn’t built in a day.
- I’ll think about it in due time.
- This is not a good time for me personally. Do me a favor and don’t complicate things any worse for me. Forget your idea. It’s just going to cause trouble.
- As your friend let me tell you confidentially that your idea is idiotic but I’ll save you the embarrassment and I won’t tell anyone else about it.
- You’re trying to make us look bad.
- Don’t get all hot and bothered. Your time will come….eventually.
- Thank your lucky stars you have a job. Don’t rock the boat or you’ll end up on a layoff list.
- Patience is a virtue.
- Things move slowly in government.
- The status quo is good enough for government.
- Let’s stick with what we know works.
- That’s just change for change sake.
- Been there done that. It doesn’t work.
- We’ve gotten along just fine without it.
- I’ll get back to you on this.
- Let’s put it on the back burner.
- It’ll never fly with admin.
- This dog won’t hunt.
- Great idea but it doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell getting past the City Council.
- Pick your battles.
- Don’t bend your pick on this.
- Wait till the time is right.
- Keep your powder dry.
- Right now we’re just trying to tread water financially.
- In life timing is everything and this is just not the right time.
- We’re in cutback mode and you want to innovate?
- Look, everyone here is already overextended.
- That’s not in your job description.
- We’ve heard this a million times.
- Who the hell told you to do this?
NOW UNWINDERS, IT’S YOUR TURN TO ADD YOUR DON’TS!
how do I unsubscribe?
I’m not sure. I tried to delete you, but it didn’t work. I will keep working on it.
Don’t play favorites
Don’t pit employees against each other
Don’t have spies
Don’t believe everything your staff tells you–ask questions!
These are excellent additions to the list. However, I have to take issue with never saying “Pick your battles.” Sometimes that is actually very good advice. And when I have been dealing with a case of suspected abuse of sick leave, I have insisted on a doctor’s note.
One item I would add to the list is:
Don’t try to multi-task when someone is talking to you.
A number of those statements on my post might be all right used sparingly and honestly but when they become repetitious, they become problematic. Your point about multi-tasking is an excellent one, Wayne.
Spies…thanks for bringing up the spies, Pat. That’s a very important one…very important.
Spies … bad news indeed.
“Don’t play favorites” or people will start asking if the two of you are having an affair — so embarrassing for those of the staff who have to answer…
gl…favoritism is a tough one to get out of once you get into it.
I once had a boss who was about to literally follow a coworker to the bathroom. She had a highly demoralized workforce & many of her employees may write memoirs. (Or could.) BUT her good point that enabled me to work for her until she died was this — she usually treated everyone EQUALLY. She did not give me the high blood pressure or the desire to flee the profession I was in solely for that reason.
I’d say overall on bad bosses:
*no matter what the money or other circumstances promised if the boss has been described by someone else as psychopathic (whether the word is used or not) do not go to work for them. Life is too short and may be shorter if working for them.
*If you know you are a bad boss read the book, “The Psychopath Next Door” and don’t act like that.
*Bad bosses treat employees unequally and some of them exhibit glee on doing it. As a boss, don’t do that.
*Bad bosses let favorites get away with not shouldering their share, using children or whatever du jour as an excuse when everyone should have decent & equal treatment & be treated respectfully when they have life issues.
*Good bosses are clear about what they require and give employees opportunities to know what is asked of them & later if mistakes are made to improve rather than expecting employees to be mind readers.
*You know you are a bad boss if you are letting screaming children stay in the place longer than 30 seconds (especially libraries!!!!!!) and if you are letting employees pretend motherhood or fatherhood is a daily excuse for not shoudering responsibilities they are being paid to handle.
Brenda, you really make a very good point. I wonder how much bad boss behavior can be attributed to mental illnesses.
A week filled with two different conferences took me away from my beloved unwinders for a while, but what a fortuitous entry to greet me on my return… You see, I’m starting to rethink my vow never to be a library director, but the thing that worries me most is learning how to manage. Thanks for the (for me, at least) timely post, Will.
The absolutely worst boss behavior I’ve ever witnessed was the time I, for all intents and purposes, got written up for crying in my office. It’s not like crying on the job is typical behavior for me. That witch caught me crying in my office shortly after my divorce was final, and she ended up including a note about my “unprofessional” tears in my next review.
I strongly believe that I should do everything I can to leave home at home, but a good boss understands that people have good days and bad. A good boss looks at the broader picture of an employee’s performance instead of focusing on isolated incidents.
Jessica, writing you up for crying was definitely adding insult to injury.
I can absolutely sympathize. A boss once berated me in front of several other librarians and at the public desk, no less. Later, I was written up for crying off the floor.
Let’s not forget the all-time harbinger of career doom: “There are concerns [note the passive voice] that you aren’t a good team player.”
Simple translation: We Don’t Like You.
Once you get this feedback, start looking for a new job.
Betty, you are absolutely correct. Bad bosses have an extended “code word” vocabulary.
Now that it has been 20 years since I had a bad boss, I would like another shot at dealing with her. What I would do differently would be to respectfully call her behavior to her face. This many years later I have better communication skills.
I don’t think it would change her — she was the angriest person I have ever met — but it bothers me that I didn’t speak up at the time. My silence indicated that her behaviors were to be tolerated. I did not tolerate them, but I never honestly told her what the effect of her management style was for me and others in the department.
I still remember one grueling performance review that lasted several hours. The only words I would say were “You are entitled to your opinion. I disagree.” Ultimately, I went to the director. She investigated my complaint and ended up sending the bad boss to counseling.
The answer to the bad boss is the 360 performance review. Performance reviews are compiled from the top, the bottom, and the side and a well rounded view of the person being evaluated results. I suspect they are not standard because of the compilation work involved.
Jane, you’ve given me my post for tomorrow. Thanks. Also, it’s easy to look back 20 years and question your response to the bad boss, but at the time you were probably in survival mode.
–Don’t say: the Board would never go for that (who’s in charge, the LD or the Board?)
–Don’t hire teens to run your library
–Don’t bow down to said teens in order to appear hip and cool while completely ignoring the professional staff
–When your employee presents an idea with good reasoning don’t start *actually yelling* at the employee to get across what you think. Also don’t start ranting and raving about how hard it is being an LD and so why should the LD cut you any slack.
–Don’t say “I’m ADD” as an excuse for being incompetent
–Don’t say “I’m not a schedule” person as an excuse for never knowing whether you’re coming or going /and expecting the library staff to cover for you
–Don’t expect the library staff to cover for your total incompetency
–Don’t be a psychopath –hmm, this one’s tricky…maybe it should say, when people call you a psychopath, they mean it, and you should get help.
–Don’t base all the library programming around all your own self interests and completely ignore core functions such as, oh, early literacy and under 5′s programming.
–Don’t think you can run a library, however small, without a children’s librarian.
–Don’t hire someone to work X hours and expect them to work double that.
–Actually tell your new hires what you expect them to do
–Don’t bad mouth your new hire to the other staff
Need more? I got ‘em but this should do for now.
Angry…keep em coming…these are great.
Don’t fire your new hire because they a) do a better job than you b) start getting recognition for their new job, which c) makes you look worse than ever.
Don’t dress in head to toe bright pink. You will look like a flamingo.
I’d like to add — don’t wear your fully pink bedroom slippers to work! It says to the public — we’re not professional around here…
Good lord, Linda. Did this really happen???
Actual quotes:
I just don’t see that happening
That’s never going tO happen
Of course that money will be used in your department if you brought it in(then it is not with no explanation)
If we didn’t get that LSTA grant for new books, do we even need the library? ( small library in a non profit)
(when begging not to cut services people use every day) we can’t be everything to everyone
Great additions to the list. Thanks, Joyce.
Do not leave angry, unreadable, totally cryptic notes taped to the back of an employee’s chair after they leave for the day.
Do not send angry, totally cryptic emails to staff at 4AM.
Do not “work from home” 4 days a week then blame your staff when they “aren’t on the same page” as you.
Do not force your staff to hide the new DVDs still in processing from you.
Do not forward every “interesting” email to “all staff”. They’ll never be able to figure out your important messages from your spam.
Do not force staff to explain the same thing more than twice. If you ask something, please try and listen and retain the answer – or at least acknowledge that you asked before and have lost/forgotten the answer.
When someone does something whimsical that is only observed by other staff, do not berate them for being “unprofessional”.
Do not jump on every new management theory that comes along and force everyone to drop what was working to jump on the trendy new bandwagon with you.
met…great list. Some of these are totally new to me like #s 1,2,and 4. Good luck.
I had one boss who would tape notes to my chair back at least once a week. He was a very angry person at times. Usually by the next morning he had cooled down. Of course, that didn’t stop me from having to come in and stew about whatever for at least an hour until he arrived at work. (Yes, I’m old enough to have worked before that angry missive would have been an email.)
#2 and #4 thankfully is not my boss – but librarians will talk to each other when their boss’s behavior is totally over the top.
met…I had a children’s librarian who would pin notes to my shirt like I was a little kid.
Nip it in the bud.
Don’t cop out. Address it. Unaddressed problems only get worse.
Don’t take a problem you’re having with just one employee to the whole group. How often have we seen memos composed and sent to the entire workgroup about a bad behavior that none of them — except the one — is engaging in?
Criticize in private; praise in public.
LIke a good general, show yourself to the troops from time to time.
Amen…address problems before they become cancers! Thanks, Joe.
Don’t gossip about employees.
Don’t lie to employees.
Don’t lie to Library Board.
Don’t take credit for ideas and programs you did not create.
Don’t bad mouth other librarians in the state.
Don’t bad mouth employees to other librarians in the state.
The 2 groups above do talk.
Don’t lie about firing an employee when she resigned after telling you what she thought of you.
If someone does make a mistake do not broadcast it to everyone in the state.
Will- I have a funny story (or sad depending on my mood) about the gossiping. I worked in a downtown public library. We had our share of drunks, drug addicts, etc. I use to get the call if someone was unruly and I had to go handle it. Well, a married staff member was having an affair. It was know but not really discussed. One day the director phoned me and said “Hurry get to my office!!!” I thought there was a problem patron, someone threatening her….. So, I ran to her office only to find she had just found out about the affair and wanted to tell me.
Conversely, don’t *beg* the person you are firing to say that they resigned–while actually firing them.
Anon, thanks. I need to do a post about how to can someone.
Here’s another: don’t get your new hire to clean out your office (2 years worth of boxes and debris covering every desk), haul said boxes down to dusty basement with no storage space, clean the now clear desk within inches, don’t thank them because you already know that…..next week you’ll fire them.
Cheers.
Gretchen, great list. “Don’t gossip about employees” should be chiseled into stone!
The worst boss I ever had took credit for work that I and my colleagues did. She got an award on year and everything on the list was done by one of us with no contribution whatsoever from her AND she didn’t even have the courtesy to thank her staff when she accepted the award. It bothered me so much that I’m very conscious of sharing credit for shared work or not saying I did something when someone working for me actually did the work.
Esther…that is a very pernicious form of theft.
Don’t bring ideas home from conferences unless you understand them.
That is, don’t mindlessly spout the latest jargon without understanding it.
Good grief…beware the director who returns from ALA with a shopping bag full of ideas!
Some of the posts above bring back such memories 8-> . I can add a few more from my long list of 40 years with supervisors…
Directors–
Don’t transfer staff out of a department without even consulting with the supervisor of said staff person, then say not to discuss the transfer with **anyone**.
If you are too old to function, retire. Don’t leave running the library to your secretary.
Don’t ask for a research report then say it’s not what you were looking for.
Department supervisors–
Hold department meetings. Don’t go to each staff member and tell them each something a little different.
Don’t tell the staff in your department that they may not fraternize with other people on the staff.
If you are head of the reference department do not refuse to do desk time because it’s beneath you.
If you don’t want people to decorate for a major holiday you don’t celebrate, tell them first, don’t just tear down the decorations.
Don’t buy luxury items for your office from the building budget then refuse the staff one air conditioning unit.
Just because I can get along with everyone don’t keep pairing me up with the people no one else can stand to be around.
Never say, “If you don’t like it here, leave.”
Goldenlady…the bit about retiring before you are non-functional hits home with me. One thing I do take pride in, is knowing when to retire. More supervisors should think about that.
Don’t raise your voice when you’re wrong? How about just don’t raise your voice, period. Yelling has no place among adults in the workplace.
And honestly…. we LIKE potlucks here.
Others
Don’t tell employees to ask questions when they don’t understand, then glare at them when they do.
Don’t expect employees to read your mind.
Don’t use Biblical passages to explain to someone why they’re not meeting expectations (yes, this really happened to me.)
Don’t expect new employees to “get it” without training and become angry when they don’t.
That last one is so right on.
Angry…do you really like potlucks or just the concept of potlucks? Out of curiosity, do you remember the Biblical passage? Bizarre.
@Will – love potlucks. We have them with some regularity at our POW. However, these are asked for by staff. I might feel differently if these were inflicted from above.
And I remember the Biblical passage distinctly — it was the one about the 3 servants and the talents (money). She said she’d never had someone hide the talents rather than do something with them before. However, this was the boss who became angry when I asked how to do things. Funniest part was she used to communicate these bizarre things by email. I kept an email file folder labeled “SFN” for “She’s nuts” in case I needed to defend myself from firing.
This would be funny, ksol, if it weren’t so sad.
From my pre-library jobs:
Don’t ask employees to do something, and then get upset when they follow instructions.
If at all possible, don’t bring your general sourness about your personal life to work. It might make you feel better, but it makes everyone else feel worse.
Don’t ignore a toxic work environment among your staff. At this point, things will not get better without intervention.
Don’t assume that all employees function well under strict rules, being monitored at all times, and boring work to cap it off.
Thus far, my library jobs have offered much better bosses. Fingers crossed for the future.
Thanks for the good news about library bosses, AS!
I’m going to give you some Dos instead.
-Read your damn email.
-Keep a tasks list and/or calendar.
-Follow up on important issues.
-Communicate with your staff.
-Know how to schedule so desk coverage doesn’t have gaping holes.
-Understand that your staff are human beings.
-Understand that you’re a human being and you need help with all of the above issues.
Anonymous…these are pretty basic. I hope you are not working for this person now.
Nope, thank God, although he has been promoted to a bigger job in a bigger system, which has me bitter. Normally I post here with my real name, but just in case this person is lurking around here somewhere…
Desk coverage is always a challenge. I don’t know what other libraries do but we never seem to have enough staff to not wind up scurrying around several times a week to fill shifts that are unexpectedly vacant by sick, vacationing or staff scheduled off for working the weekend that somehow also managed to be scheduled for a day when they are off…
I can certainly understand that. But this person used to forget to schedule entire shifts. Basic stuff.
Don’t patronize me if I ask you a question. I am asking to understand, not to be belittled…
Don’t punish someone for doing their job and doing it well…
So many of the don’ts written in the comments happen here, and it isn’t always by the director.
No good deed goes unpunished, New B.
Don’t create a policy that others have to enforce and then cave in when angry patrons complain. If the policy is good, it’s good for everyone. Exceptions=unequal treatment.
Excellent addition, Lorna. Thanks.
Never utter the phrase “When i want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.” You may think it is funny, but when I first heard it said, all I picked up on was that it was ok to threaten violence over a difference of opinion. Claiming it is a joke is passive aggressive, another Don’t behavior for a boss.
My bad boss (written about above) did similar. He posted similar statements on Facebook, of all places.
Linda…good point. I always hated bosses who publicly proclaimed, “I could fire your ass!” And then added…”just joking.”
Ooooh. Yuck. Passive-aggressive “jokes.” Never a good sign.
Do not slam other managers to staff and respect their turf.
If you have to come into an area of responsibility that belongs to another manager, ask nice.
Patrons can lie, so don’t go off half-cocked to report an employee for egregious behavior unless you’ve got facts.
Watch each others backs. If a staff member is losing it, be a mensch and get them off the floor before the situation gets worse.
Allow and support staff members when they take great leaps and give them the credit for their successes. (You as manager get to take responsibility for flops but that’s why you get the big bucks.)
If there’s a problem, if you have the facts, if you’ve tried dealing with it and failed, tell your director. Even if it turns into a kill-the-messenger moment, you’ve done your part.
Deborah, you have opened up a whole area that has been neglected: The bad boss who always takes a patron complaint at face value without doing any fact checking. Absolutely maddening.
Whew…..you guys have covered it ALL! Just dropping in to say congratulations on the hole-in-one! I can’t imagine what that must feel like!!! I’m not a golfer anyway, but still just can not imagine!
Wynette, a hole in one is the most fun you can have with your clothes on!
Goin’ undercover for this one…
–Don’t use “staff will cover as necessary” as a way to avoid scheduling desk coverage for employees who are on vacation. Nobody wins when you do that.
–Don’t berate me in front of other staff. I can hear you just fine without a third party in the room, thanks.
–Don’t let your administrative assistant join in said berating to yell at me “as a parent” about decisions I’m making as a librarian.
–Don’t jump down my throat and tell me to act legally, not ethically, when I point out a situation in which state law and ethical treatment of patrons are at odds. I don’t want the library to get into legal trouble any more than you do–I’m bringing up the issue so that we can work together on a compromise that protects our patrons and stays on the windy side of the law.
–Don’t refer to a pair of chronically misbehaving patrons as “you people” to their faces, especially when their skin is not the same color as yours. Only you know what you meant in your heart, but the words sound… not so good.
–Don’t put together a search committee for a new staffperson, then ignore the committee’s input and hire someone whom you happen to know.
–Don’t fail to train new hires. Don’t fail to train new hires. Don’t fail to train new hires.
–Don’t behave so reactively in the face of problems that staff must deal with the problem *and* with your reaction.
… and so on. I am resourceful and will work around any boss’ shortcomings to the best of my ability, but if this helps any supervisor anywhere to self-correct, it may be worth posting.
Number two is so true, Mrs. Slocum. Well done!
Dont’s:
Ask an employee who is home sick to come in to work anyway (this actually happened to a co-worker of mine-and if she called in sick, she really was sick).
Don’t micromanage.
Don’t talk to me in a patronizing voice/manner (even if you talk to everyone that way)–there is no reason to speak to anyone in a patronizing manner.
I have to say that I have been very lucky and have mostly had excellent bosses.
Dawn…very good point. I have never met a librarian who performed their best under micromanagement.
1. We won’t do that. There are factors here you don’t understand. 2. Why you ask, because I’m in charge and we’ll do it my way.
3. Because I’m in charge and I don’t like it.
4. Because you’re not in charge.
5. We’ll discuss it later. (ie. NEVER).
6. I’m pleased to receive the (committee’s or Staff’s), input, but no. Why? Because I’m in charge.
7. Any infinitely changing peramutation of the above items…
chat…how about this one: “last time I looked I was higher on the org chart than you!”
I had to laugh. Several items on your list of what not to do are things employees have said to me (in the past) as their boss not the other way round.
That is funny!
Don’t give a warning without the employee understanding it’s a warning. Just saying “Do you understand what I’m saying?” doesn’t mean the employee knows s/he has just received an official warning on the way to being fired.
One of the worst things I had happen was with a micro managing, nit-picking boss. She decided I should have a coworker proof everything so that I passed on perfect work. This was so she wouldn’t have to correct it. Then she still had to ask what the problems were – which later ended up on my performance appraisal. She wouldn’t let go. (Is it any wonder my work kept getting worse rather than better in her eyes???)
Vicki, nitpickers are the worst, the very worst.
As I’m late in posting today I bet anything I would say has already been said but I’ll add a few points anyway just in case:
Listen – your staff may well have good ideas as solutions to problems or ideas as to how things can be done better and your organization will be more likely to prosper if you use the staff resources at hand
Train staff properly and refresh that training as necessary and then stand back and let them do their jobs as the trained professionals they are
Don’t have different rules for different staff members — in other words be consistent; for example, if single staff member A can’t take a vacation during December because that is the library’s policy don’t then make an exception for married with children staff member B — it doesn’t make staff feel valued!
Do praise people when they do good work
And I’m sure I could come up with more but that is all that comes to mind at the moment.
Linda…thanks for bringing up the need to be consistent and not play favorites. Nothing affects morale more than obvious favoritism.
Do not try too hard at being cool. Your Generation X/Y employee has no desire to discuss birth control methods, drug use, and hangovers with her baby boomer boss.
Egads. Does this happen, jg?
Wow! What are we up to now? 1,000 do’s and dont’s? You need a database to keep track of it all, though I’m sure with a little effort we could double the number we have so far. I certainly could not memorize them all. Frankly, I think it is well nigh impossible for any human being to live up to all these expectations. Perhaps you could program a robot to make all the right responses, the ones you desire and expect, but I don’t think a human being could possibly do it. Basically we are in a position in this country, with all the work rules, regulations, and laws on the books supervisors are in a position to have to ask permission to tell you what to do.
Not only that, now we have sentiment for the round-robin performance review where employees judge supervisors on their job performance. The whole situation reminds me of Kafka. It’s a Bizarro World where the inmates run the asylum.
Not that I don’t believe anyone. I was in a situation where my Director was a narcissistic personality who took credit for other’s efforts and blamed others for her inadequacies. I went to a friend of mine who is a noted management consultant. I asked him what I could do. He told me: Leave or nothing.
And THAT, I think, is really what our collective issue is. We’ve all got all these complaints, including myself. Some of them are very serious complaints and some of them are almost laughingly petty. Some of them are also downright mean. The real problem is that we are afraid to leave. In an ideal world, if you encountered a supervisor you did not appreciate, you’d vote with your feet and simply resign. Like the guy who won the lottery. He was asked what he would do. He said, “Get a job so I can quit it.” That’s the depth to which we hate our jobs.
We have managed to put ourselves in a position where we are dependent on a job for our livelihood, a job controlled mostly by other people. We don’t like that. We rebel. We’ve got lots of reasons. See above. It’s the same in public or private scenarios. It’s the same in a socialist setting or a capitalistic setting. It’s not a right or left issue. It’s what we have allowed to happen to us. We’ve allowed ourselves to become subservient to the organizations that employee us.
It doesn’t have to be that way. In hindsight I made a major mistake in my career. The mistake was that I did not prepare myself to be independent, if necessary. I believe that one of the best things we all can do for ourselves is have an alternative means of livelihood that can meet our individual needs. To know in your heart that you can, if need be, say, “Take this job and shove it!” is both psychologically and physically liberating. It means you need not take abuse. Not only that, you get to decide what “abuse” is.
If you don’t do that, then you are setting yourself up for a debilitating situation. It’s depressing, both for you and your colleagues. It sets up a completely unhealthy work environment where one of the only avenues to let off stress is to criticize, and your supervisor is the easiest target. Besides, all you colleagues will agree with you. They’ll be your co-dependents in a heartbeat. If I were to take all the do’s and dont’s up there at face value, my conclusion would be that all supervisors are blithering idiots, and all employees are perfect darlings, deserving of equality in all respects.
Somehow I doubt it. I also suspect supervisors and directors can come up with an equally perceptive list of do’s and dont’s for employees. To me the same rule applies. Supervisors need the same outlet as employees do, a way to easily walk away from the turmoil and leave the fighting hordes to their own devices.
Mick — You’re right. I have a friend who has been miserable in every job he’s ever had. I told him that he has to learn to work for himself. When he started his own company, he realized that there’s almost an endless amount of work that you’ve got to put into your business. He’s back to working for someone else and he’s miserable.
Personally, I have a few different careers that I can fall back on. Not that any of them pay that great but neither does being a librarian. When things are bad, my fantasy job is owning my own small business. I haven’t done it, though, because you’ve got to sacrifice a lot in running your own business. Say goodbye to the 40 hour work week, paid vacations, and guaranteed benefits. Maybe someday I’ll go down that path, but right now.
This isn’t my idea, but you gotta know when to play your “exit card.” You do this by asking yourself 2 questions: If I wasn’t here now, where could I be? and What will make me play my exit card? The misery doesn’t have to continue endlessly. You just gotta be realistic about what you want and what you cannot stand.
Mick, you make a very good point about life and employment…always have a backup plan…always.
I’d put in a Do:
-When it’s busy, help out in front.
It’s amazing how much better staff feels about a boss who is willing to, say, help out on the circ. desk when it gets overwhelmed.
As a corollary:
-Don’t goof off in front of the patrons when the staff needs a hand.
I had a boss (not in a library) on the phone to the photographer for her wedding in plain sight of the customers, while there was a line, and only one person helping them/
chuck…both points are excellent! Thanks.
Don’t come to work drunk.
Or buzzed.
When you retire, stop coming to work anyway and actually quit.
Bill, after I retired I even started going to a library in a different city. That’s how I met Joe.
Don’t have favorites. My boss shares an office with one of my co-workers and the sound of laughter emanates from their office all day long. It is most awkward to go ask a question, as they sometimes spring apart guiltily, having obviously been gossiping.
Don’t belittle people, especially staff.
Try to minimize acting superior–other people have good ideas, good vocabularies, and good educations, too.
Here is my list of 20 bad leadership traits -
Having tunnel vision
Micromanaging
Being incompetent
Being rules oriented and not people oriented
Demanding perfection
Having Fear and doubts regarding employees’ competence
Having low self-esteem and confidence
Having emotional insecurity and immaturity
Making decisions based on emotions
Acting as a roadblock between upper managers and employees
Acting differently in front of their superiors and subordinates
Blaming others for failures and taking credit for successes
showing favoritism
Reacting negatively to criticism
Making assumptions without fact checking
Not caring about how their actions impact others
Not willing or not able to change and adopt
Not willing to learn and grow
Not taking no for an answer
Not listening
Oh, I love someone’s comment above about using children as an excuse not to come to work or even worse, treating your job like a daycare. LD does not have kids so expects those without to be workaholics and those with kids can either not show up, leave early, and generally just coast by. I am thinking about having kids just to lighten my workload at work (just kidding).
We hear, Oh..so and so is doing the “Mommy thing”- meanwhile “so and so Mommy” only makes it to work a couple times a week while the rest of us are forced to cover her ref shifts (this is not leave for a pregnancy mind you, just little Johnny has a cold every other day).
Yes, treat everyone equally and also don’t single out your long time dependable employees as punching bags when something goes wrong. The librarians and staff have figured out how to guilt trip the childless LD, which is a slap in the face to the very few workhorses in the library.