WILL UNWOUND #123: Librarians, Books, and Sex – What does the May Poll Reveal?” by Will ManleyMay 26, 2010
Although the May poll was primarily an experiment in how to use the survey function on this blog, it did produce some interesting results.
Where, given their choice, do we librarians prefer to read? We like our comfortable easy chair, our bed, the great outdoors, the beach, and our bathtub. I was glad to see that the bathtub picked up votes as the month went along because I was beginning to think that my bathtub preference was a little odd. What does all this mean? Well we’ve been obsessing in this blog about on-line everything…educating, reading, writing, and researching. To me our little May poll speaks “volumes” about the longevity of the traditional paper and print book. Do you want to take a machine to bed? No . Do you want to take a machine into the bathtub? A thousand times NO. Do you want to take a machine to the barcalounger. No, no, and no! How about the beach? Forget it. So our wildly unscientific research has confirmed that real books have a real role to play in real lives. Nuff said.
Next question: where do librarians prefer to have sex? The answer unsurprisingly is in bed where God intended it. But, did anyone else raise an eyebrow that 6% of our wildly unscientific survey universe prefers to do the deed in the library? What, in the name of Sigmund Freud, is up with that?
Finally, do we prefer to snuggle into bed with a good book and a steamy cup of Earl Grey or do we prefer to cuddle our partners and watch a steamy video of the aristocratic Earl of Grey? The numbers for this little dilemma show that the book wins decisively, and the numbers for this preference were constant throughout the month. Very interesting? Yes. Very surprising? No.
If you’ve been paying attention to the remarks of many librarians when the subject of the future of the book comes up there is always the chatter about the touch and feel and textures of a book…the tactile pleasures of a book. Some wax on rhapsodically about the richness of leather covers and the pleasing tautness of a perfectly sewn binding. I could go on but you get the point. Librarians love real books for more than the mere words. Too bad Freud isn’t around to explain it all to us.
In Freud’s absence here are my theories about why you prefer the book:
- Books don’t talk back.
- Books don’t snore.
- Books don’t have headaches.
- Books don’t have annoying personal traits although some books smell bad.
- You can dump a book that you don’t like and not have to see a lawyer about it.
- Books are always there on the nightstand when you wake up in the morning.
- Books don’t get jealous. You can involve yourself with several books during the course of a day.
- Books don’t expect anything in return for pleasure given.
- Books don’t wrinkle and sag over time.
- You don’t have to buy jewelry or a hunting rifle for a book.
- Books don’t roll over on to your side of the bed.
- Books don’t pull the covers away from you.
But books do have one big limitation: they can’t be your soulmate for eternity. Hmmmmm.
Now unwinders it’s your turn to play Dr. Freud. How do you interpret the results of the May Poll? Here are some questions to get you started.
- Do you agree with my conclusion that books are here to stay because basically who wants to take a battery driven machine to bed and all the other places where librarians prefer to read?
- The easy chair scored high as a reading venue. Do you have a special reading chair with a special reading lamp in your home?
- 6% of the respondents indicated their favorite place to have sex is in the library? Please, Dr. Freud, tell me why!
- I gave you my theory why a decisive majority of librarians prefer reading to cuddling and snuggling. What is your theory, Sigmund?
- Anything surprise you about the May poll?
- Anything more you want to comment on the May poll?
Before you get away, please keep working on the answers to yesterday’s post. I have decided to change questions #3 and #4 (on the basis of the logical comment of an anonymous unwinder) from “Which celebrity would you most want to marry” to “Which celebrity do you consider sexiest?” Does that change the answers you have suggested for those questions? Please post new comments on yesterday’s post to today’s comment area. Thanks. Keep working on it. We will get there. BTW, I’ve pretty well settled on Cheney for question #1 but need an equal to Cheney on #2. Not sure Anne Coulter is the answer. Think hard. I know you can do it.
REMEMBER…THIS BLOG IS A GROUP EFFORT. THANKS FOR YOUR HELP. LET’S HAVE FUN WITH THIS. YOU ALL NEED MORE FUN IN YOUR LIVES AT THIS POINT IN TIME.