Will Unwound

My first venture into the mystery genre was Donna Andrews’ Murder with Peacocks.  I picked the book up when I was in one of my apocalyptic moods.  The stock market had just gone done over a hundred points; my daily golf game did irretrievable damage to my sense of self esteem; I was called in by my son for a dead cat removal from his air conditioning unit;  and the BP oil spill had just started.

I needed something light and funny… something… anything ….that would steer my mind clear of gloom and doom!  Then  I remembered reading an unwinder comment that Lilian Jackson Braun’s mysteries were funny.  Great,  but wasn’t she the one with cats weaving in and out of the plot?  Well, forget about Braun for awhile.  That dead cat I removed from the air conditioning unit was the foulest smelling thing I’ve ever sniffed.  And what in heaven’s name was he doing in there….investigating a murder?

So then I started going down the “A’s” and Donna  Andrews roped me in on page one, the part where Meg Langslow’s sister in law to be wants her to provide some peacocks for her wedding.  Peacocks at a wedding?  The funny thing is that it’s not funny.  Well, it’s funny, but it’s not bizarre.  Anything goes at a wedding, a fact which Andrews deliciously exploits in this laugh out loud murder fest. 

What made Murder With Peacocks work for me was the devilishly satirical way that Andrews mixed 3 oddly unforgettable weddings, all of which were being coordinated by amateur super sleuth Meg Langslow , with 3 fairly unforgettable murders. 

As I stated in an earlier post , all bad jokes aside, there are some trenchant similarities between funerals and weddings.  Both events center on society rather than the principal persons involved.  The corpse, the bride, and the groom all tend to be bit players in a larger drama of keeping up with the Joneses or exceeding them. Both events generate an incredible amount of stress on the families involved.  Both events pressure family members into making financial decisions on the basis of guilt and competition (my Dad’s coffin is cooler than your Dad’s was; and my daughter’s wedding dress is a Vera Wang and your daughter’s  was an out of date, hand-me-down, family heirloom).  And both events are often in the final analysis judged on the basis of the food served (wasn’t it special that they made a replica of Grandpa out of the pate’ spread?).

Andrews nails the wedding as funeral scenario perfectly, and her odd cast of corpses, eccentric family members, bumbling small town police, and various oddball hangers-on provide a delicious literary smorgasbord, one that you don’t want to overindulge because Meg’s father’s big hobby is filling his garden with poisonous plants.  It’s a garden that festoons the wedding grounds.  Does someone get poisoned?  I’m not telling but keep your eye on….oh, that’s right…I’m not supposed to tell who the murderer is.  Give me time.  I’ll get the hang of this.

If you’re confused, don’t be.  Meg, the only sane one in the family, is there to straighten it all out for you.  Never for me has murder been this darned funny.  What apocalyspe?

I give Murder With Peacocks a 3 star *** rating (out of 5).

From frothy weddings and funny corpses, we move to a different place (Rome), a different time (70AD), and a different mood (dark and tough).  The book is Silver Pigs.  The author is Lindsey Davis.  The detective is Marcus Didius Falco.

The Rome depicted here is not the Rome you read about in your Western Civ 101 textbook back in your freshman year in college.  That Rome was a marvel of classical architecture, high minded statesmen, a sophisticated culture, and a strict regime of law and order.  The Rome of Silver Pigs is a chaotic urban jungle of tenement buildings, con men, organized crime, and duplicitous politicians. Its winding streets of teeming humanity are hot, humid, and very dangerous.  

It’s a place where you don’t want to be after dark unless of course you’ve got Marcus Didius Falco as your guide. He’s an interesting blend of tough guy, cynic, and romantic.  As a man of the people, a plebian who grew up street wise and dirt poor, Falco is a republican of strong opinions.  It’s not a political point of view that endears him to the imperial power structure that he keeps bumping up against.  It’s a wonder that he survives, but then again he’s tough and has street cred with the local patrol officer in the working class district he calls home.

His challenge in Silver Pigs starts out as a simple investigation into the murder of a beautiful 16 year old girl from a politically powerful aristocratic family.  In short order, however, his case morphs into a probe into political corruption at the highest levels of the imperial power structure .   It’s an investigation that takes him into the rough and tumble world of the lead and silver mines of a faraway, backwater Roman province called Britannia.  Here too you will discover a crude world of violence that they didn’t tell you about in Western Civ. 

To be fair to the book it’s not all blood and butchery.  There’s quite a tempestuous love affair that ignites Falco’s long lost soul.  That’s right…gasp…tough guy Falco falls in love with…double gasp… an aristocratic divorcee of impeccable tastes and bearing.  Thankfully, however, they do have one thing in common:  a love of adventure and a flair for danger.

I absolutely loved everything about this book and give it all 5 stars…*****!

UNWINDERS, THANKS FOR GETTING ME INTO MYSTERIES.  I’M LOVING THE ADVENTURE.  LET’S KEEP EXPANDING THE LIST SO I WILL HAVE MORE CHOICES.  GIVE ME YOUR RECOMMENDTIONS BELOW.  THANKS.  ALSO IT WOULD BE FUN TO GET YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE 2 BOOKS I JUST REVIEWED.

WILL’S MYSTERY BOOK LIST PROJECT

Atherton, Nancy –Aunt Dimity’s Death

Atkinson, Kat –  When There Will Be Good News

Barr, Nevada –Blind Descent

Beaton, M. C. – Death of a Gossip

Black, Benjamin – Christine Falls

Braun, Lillian Jackson –The Cat who could Read Backwards

Brett, Simon  – Dead Side of the Mike

Burke, James Lee – The Neon Rain

Castillo, Linda – Sworn to Silence

Christie, Agatha – And Then There Were None

Connelly, Michael  -  The Lincoln Lawyer

Cotterill,  Colin – Coroner’s Lunch

Crais, Robert – The Monkey’s Raincoat

Crombie, Deborah – A Share in the Death

Davis, Lindsey –Silver Pigs

Dexter, Colin – The Wench is Dead

De Poy, Phillip – A Minister’s Ghost

Doyle, Sir Conan – Hound of the Baskervilles

Eco, Umberto – Name of the Rose

Evanovich, Janet – One for the Money

Fairstein, Linda – Lethal Legacy

Fforde, Jasper – Eyre Affair

Fleming, Julia Spencer – In the Bleak Midwinter

Flynn, Gillian – Sharp Objects

Fowler, Christopher – Full Dark Horse

Franklin, Ariana – Mistress of the Art of Death

French, Tara – In the Woods  

Gaus, P.L. – Blood of the Prodigal

George, Elizabeth – A Great Deliverance

Gilbert, Michael – Smallbone Deceased

Grafton, Sue – A for Alibi

Gregorio, Michael – Critique of Criminal Reason

Haddam, Jane – Not a Creature Was Stirring

Hall, James – Under the Cover of Daylight

Harris, Joanne – Gentlemen and Players

Hoban, Russell – Riddley Walker

James, P.D. – A Taste of Death

King, Lauri e –Beekeeper’s Apprentice

King, Ross – Ex Libris

Krueger, William Kent – Iron Lake

Larsson, Steig – The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo

Lehanne, Dennis –Mystic River

Lovesey, Peter – Swing, Swing Together

Lutz, Lisa –Spellman Files

Macbride, Stuart – Cold Granite

Mankell, Henning – Faceless Killers  

Maron, Margaret –Bootlegger’s Daughter

McCall Smith, Alexander – #1 Ladies Detective Agency

McCrumb, Sharyn – She Walks These Hills  

McDermid, Val – Place of Execution

McDonald, John D. – Deep Blue Goodbye

McDonald, Ross  – Moving Target

Moore, Christopher – Fluke

Neville, Katherine – The Eight

O’Connell, Carol – Judas Child

Pattison, Eliot – The Skull Mantra

Parker, Robert  – Godwulf Manuscript  

Pearl, Matthew –Dante Club

Pears, Iain – An Instance of the Fingerpost

Penny, Louise – The Brutal Telling

Perez-Reverte , Arturo – The Club Dumas

Perry, Anne  The Face of the Stranger

Peters, Elizabeth – Crocodile in the Sandbank

Peters, Ellis – Morbid Taste for Bones

Pickard, Nancy – Scent of Rain and Lightning

Preston, Douglas and Child, Lincoln – Cabinet of Curiosities  

Robinson, Linda S. – Murder in the Place of Anubis

Rozan, S.J. – Concourse

Sandford, John  -  Rules of Prey

Sayers, Dorothy L.  – Gaudy Night  

Sayers, Dorothy L. -   Murder Must Advertise

Stout, Rex – Nero Wolfe series – Doorbell Rang

Taylor, Elizabeth – Angel

Tey, Josephine – Daughter of Time

Westlake, Donald  – Dancing Aztecs

Willis, Connie – To Say Nothing of the Dog

Winspear, Jaqueline  – Maisie Dobbs

Woodrell, Daniel – Winter’s Bone

 

When I was in library school 40 years ago, one of my classmates was intrigued with how people make consumer decisions.  He had majored in economics as an undergraduate and was convinced that the “rational man” premise that economists use works in theory but not in practice. 

In fact, every economist would probably agree with him because our economic system has spawned a large industry called advertising to exploit the irrational part of the human being.  Cigarettes are a perfect example.  All the medical research shows that smoking is unhealthy, yet people continue to  smoke.  Advertising has a lot to do with that.

People also buy big expensive cars, eat out at fancy, expensive restaurants, travel to faraway, expensive places, and drink expensive bottled waters.  That’s advertising at work too. 

No doubt about it, people make decisions based on emotions.  Effective advertisements exploit those emotions.  That’s not particularly a bad thing because our emotions either need to be sublimated or fulfilled.  The denial of emotions results in psychosis and dysfunction.  We need to confront them, and buying certain products and services can be a way to cope with our irrational needs and desires.   

From a strictly utilitarian point of view, my classmate was a huge advocate of religion and the role it plays in inducing people to reflect upon their emotional needs in the context of the greater good of humanity.   He was extremely idealistic in that he felt that, given the proper religious training, people could channel their emotional needs to enhance their self esteem more effectively by donating to charity than by buying the big car. 

What he discovered, however, is that there is a constant battle between what society deems important and what religion deems important.  We run into this dilemma all the time in making decisions.  Do we do what is important in terms of how our peers view us or in terms of how we view ourselves?  More often than not, peer pressure wins out and we make consumer choices based on how we think we will be viewed by others,  not by what might be in our best financial and spiritual interests.

My classmate felt that if ever there was one place where people would make rational choices it would be in picking out reading materials in a library.  To test his theory he was given permission to interview people as they left the branch of a public library near our school.

What did he find?  He found a 50/50 split between a) patrons who came to the library for a specific book or books on a specific topic and b) patrons who were just looking for a good book to read.  The second group is the cohort that he proceeded to interview.  How did these patrons pick out a good book?

Over and over again they used some form of the word, “feel”….as in this “feels like the right book for the mood I am in”  or “I could use some romance/fantasy/excitement/spice (take your pick) in my life right now.”  Some patrons felt the itch to travel but didn’t have the time or money so they picked a book set  in an exotic location.  In the final analysis what my classmate found was that patrons more often than not picked their leisure reading books to fulfill some unfulfilled emotion.

What does this mean?  First, the library fills an incredibly valuable place in fulfilling people’s emotional needs without having them take out a big car loan.  Books provide an important vicarious experience for us all.  Second,  people want choices so that they feel that they have some control over their emotional lives.  The library offers those choices.  That’s a good thing.  Third, readers’ advisory work is detective work. Patrons don’t like to talk about their innermost emotional needs so they mask their needs in riddles rolled up in mysteries.  The good RA librarian knows how to read the clues to unravel the riddles and solve the mysteries. 

Speaking of mysteries…this brings me to the point of today’s post.  You’re probably going to turn on me, but I don’t want to pare down my list.  I want to expand it!  Let’s go from 80 to 100.  I still have to read 75 books but so far what I’ve really, really enjoyed about our mystery project is roaming the stacks and picking the mystery that best fits my mood du jour.  I’m loving that experience, and I want more choices.  Who knows,  the day my come when a cat mystery is just what I need to become emotionally fulfilled for a day. 

You have to understand that I’m a guy who has spent the better part of his life reading what he thought he needed to read rather than reading what he really wanted to read.  This mystery project has, therefore, been tremendously liberating for me.  I’m ready to take care of some unfilled emotional needs.

So….I need 20 more authors and 1 title for each author.  Sorry to be so fickle and inconsistent, but really aren’t I just like a lot of your patrons?   Below is the current list.  Look at the list and figure out the best way to give me a wider diversity of choices.  Thanks.

Tomorrow I will report back on my first two mysteries: Murder with Peacocks by Donna Andrews  and Silver Pigs by Lindsey Davis.  So far things are going great, and I’ve never been happier with a book in my hand.  I owe it all to you unwinders.

Let me leave you with a quote from Emerson: Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”

Finally, in leaving your comments today, unwinders, let me know what you think of my classmates’ research in terms of how patrons pick out leisure reading books. Agree or disagree?

WILL’S MYSTERY BOOK LIST PROJECT

Atherton, Nancy –Aunt Dimity’s Death

Atkinson, Kat –  When There Will Be Good News

Barr, Nevada –Blind Descent

Beaton, M. C. – Death of a Gossip

Black, Benjamin – Christine Falls

Braun, Lillian Jackson –The Cat who could Read Backwards

Brett, Simon  – Dead Side of the Mike

Burke, James Lee – The Neon Rain

Castillo, Linda – Sworn to Silence

Christie, Agatha – And Then There Were None

Connelly, Michael  -  The Lincoln Lawyer

Cotterill,  Colin – Coroner’s Lunch

Crais, Robert – The Monkey’s Raincoat

Crombie, Deborah – A Share in the Death

Davis, Lindsey –Silver Pigs

Dexter, Colin – The Wench is Dead

De Poy, Phillip – A Minister’s Ghost

Doyle, Sir Conan – Hound of the Baskervilles

Eco, Umberto – Name of the Rose

Evanovich, Janet – One for the Money

Fairstein, Linda – Lethal Legacy

Fforde, Jasper – Eyre Affair

Fleming, Julia Spencer – In the Bleak Midwinter

Flynn, Gillian – Sharp Objects

Fowler, Christopher – Full Dark Horse

Franklin, Ariana – Mistress of the Art of Death

French, Tara – In the Woods   

Gaus, P.L. – Blood of the Prodigal

George, Elizabeth – A Great Deliverance

Gilbert, Michael – Smallbone Deceased

Grafton, Sue – A for Alibi

Gregorio, Michael – Critique of Criminal Reason

Haddam, Jane – Not a Creature Was Stirring

Hall, James – Under the Cover of Daylight

Harris, Joanne – Gentlemen and Players

Hoban, Russell – Riddley Walker

James, P.D. – A Taste of Death

King, Lauri e –Beekeeper’s Apprentice

King, Ross – Ex Libris

Krueger, William Kent – Iron Lake

Larsson, Steig – The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo

Lehanne, Dennis –Mystic River

Lovesey, Peter – Swing, Swing Together

Lutz, Lisa –Spellman Files

Macbride, Stuart – Cold Granite

Mankell, Henning – Faceless Killers  

Maron, Margaret –Bootlegger’s Daughter

McCall Smith, Alexander – #1 Ladies Detective Agency

McCrumb, Sharyn – She Walks These Hills  

McDermid, Val – Place of Execution

McDonald, John D. – Deep Blue Goodbye

McDonald, Ross  – Moving Target

Moore, Christopher – Fluke

Neville, Katherine – The Eight

O’Connell, Carol – Judas Child

Pattison, Eliot – The Skull Mantra

Parker, Robert  - Godwulf Manuscript  

Pearl, Matthew –Dante Club

Pears, Iain – An Instance of the Fingerpost

Penny, Louise – The Brutal Telling

Perez-Reverte , Arturo – The Club Dumas

Perry, Anne  The Face of the Stranger

Peters, Elizabeth – Crocodile in the Sandbank

Peters, Ellis – Morbid Taste for Bones

Pickard, Nancy – Scent of Rain and Lightning

Preston, Douglas and Child, Lincoln – Cabinet of Curiosities  

Robinson, Linda S. – Murder in the Place of Anubis

Rozan, S.J. – Concourse

Sandford, John  -  Rules of Prey

Sayers, Dorothy L.  – Gaudy Night  

Sayers, Dorothy L. -   Murder Must Advertise

Stout, Rex – Nero Wolfe series – Doorbell Rang

Taylor, Elizabeth – Angel

Tey, Josephine – Daughter of Time

Westlake, Donald  - Dancing Aztecs

Willis, Connie – To Say Nothing of the Dog

Winspear, Jaqueline  - Maisie Dobbs

Woodrell, Daniel – Winter’s Bone

The knock against the Disney Company by a certain intellectually elite group of people has always been that it presents a plastic form of entertainment.  It’s glitzy, glittery, and fake. 

As an adult who would rather hike the real Great Smoky Mountains than ride the Big Thunder Mountain roller coaster, I can appreciate that point of view.  As an adult, Disneyland is not for me.  On my list of the happiest places on earth it ranks somewhere above a January cruise on an ice breaker  to the Baffin Islands but below a hike through Death Valley in July. 

As a parent and a grandparent, however, I have a great deal of respect for the Disney Empire.  Children love Mickey, Donald, Pluto, and the rest of that merry band of animated beings.  You can’t argue with that and for the most part the Disney lovables, unlike a lot of the villains on television, don’t kill people and  talk dirty.

Yes, some purists object to Disney’s whitewashing of children’s literature like Snow White, Cinderella, and Hansel and Gretel, but you have to remember that Grimm’s Fairy Tales are pretty grim and we are living in an age in which we have passed law after law to try to remove all danger and scariness from children’s lives. 

There are federal regulations and state laws now governing everything from baby buggies to bicycle helmets to mandatory car seats.  You know why station wagons were so popular in the 50s, 60s, and 70s?  It’s because parents loved throwing their kids back in the trunk area to keep them as far away from the front seat as possible.  Today you’re basically a felon if you do that.  My point is if Disney didn’t sanitize the classics, the feds would probably make them.  So, overall I’m okay with Disney.  Yes, they are exploiting children, but they are doing it in a nice way.   Disney has done far more good for the world than evil.

But for the past three weeks I have been doing a slow burn about what Disney has down to the Winnie the Pooh books.  Now they’re the ones who should be considered felons.  Their offence?  The violation of possibly the greatest series of children’s books ever written.  No how about this….the rape of possibly the greatest series of books ever written period.

Three weeks ago there I sat in my son’s family room in front of one of those fancy, big high definition television sets watching a version of Winnie the Pooh that made me want to poo.  It was called something like the new adventures of Pooh, but I’m afraid they are not so new.  My hunch is this cartoon series has been around for a while and luckily I’ve missed it up until now.  Why is it so bad?  It is loud, it has characters I have never heard of, the action is rapid fire and utterly without meaning, and the music is just plain bad.  There is nothing in this cartoon series that remotely resembles the gentle, touching whimsy of the books.  I was glad to see that it did not hold my grandchildren’s attention. I got them outside as fast as I could.

Someday I may  get over how upset I am about Disney ruining Pooh for a whole generation of children.  After all I have gotten over what  Franco Zefferelli did to the Gospels, what Gregory Peck did to Captain Ahab, what Baz Lurhmann did to Romeo and Juliet, and what Robert Redford did to Roy Hobbs.  Well, not really.

I could go on.  I am not a big fan of putting books on the big or little screen.  When they do it badly like Disney did to Pooh, it’s a violation, and when they do it perfectly like Peter  Jackson did to The Lord of the Rings,  it’s a seduction.  I don’t know which is worse.

Actually I do.  The seduction is worse.  It bugs me no end that I can no longer read the Lord of the Rings trilogy without thinking of Elijah Wood and Sean Astin.  That’s what a perfect movie does to the reader.  It takes away your ability to create your own reality within the book.  Why read if you can’t do that?

At least with Pooh, I am able to banish that really awful Disney version completely out of my mind when I pick up Milne’s wonderful stories.  But Elijah Wood will always be Frodo.

Put another way…can Scarlett O’Hara be anybody but Vivien Leigh?

NOW …YE MERRY BAND OF WEEKEND UNWINDERS, IT’S YOUR TURN TO TELL ME I’M WRONG , WRONG, WRONG!  THE SUBJECT OF PUTTING BOOKS INTO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS IS A DEBATABLE ONE….FASCINATING REALLY.  HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS TO THINK ABOUT AS YOU FORMULATE YOUR COMMENTS:

1.  Do you agree or disagree with my overall assessment of Disney?
2. Am I right or wrong about the pillaging of Winnie the Pooh by Disney?
3. Do you look forward to watching movies or shows of books you have read?
4. What are the best movie adaptations from books that you have enjoyed?  Do you agree with me about Lord of the Rings?
5. What are the worst book to movie adaptations that you have seen?
6. What is the best movie adaptation of a mystery that you have seen?
7. Anything more you want to say about this topic?

REMEMBER…THIS BLOG IS A GROUP EFFORT…THAT’S ESPECIALLY TRUE WITH WEEKEND BOOK CHAT.  Thanks for your help.  TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE FINAL AND I DO MEAN FINAL (smirk) MYSTERY BOOK LIST. 

It’s fantasy Friday.  None too soon I would say.

All of you working librarians have a three day weekend in front of you.

So….do you have any plans?

I hope not.  Let’s say the proverbial genie appears out of the midst of your book stacks.  You’re stressed.  You’re worried.  But guess what?  You have three wishes for the weekend.  What will it be?

Number 1…where will you go?

Number 2….what will you do?

Number 3….what will you read?

That’s right, unwinders.  Forget about budget cuts.  Forget about the status of your 401K.  Forget about the coming apocalypse.  You can do anything; go anywhere; and read anything. You have three wishes.  What are they?

Where are you going?  What are you doing?  What are you reading?

Dream deeply, unwinders.  Let us know your fantasies for the 3 day weekend.

Please don’t tell me you’re going to Disneyland.

A big part of my outlook as a human being came from my childhood.  I feel almost guilty about saying this but my boyhood was idyllic.  Since the days of the Phil Donohue Show, it’s been trendy for boomers and gen xers  to bare their souls and talk about growing up in a domestic hell surrounded by abusive parents and molesting uncles in dysfunctional family settings masked by an outward display of middle class respectability.

The truth is I had two wonderful, loving, highly educated parents who devoted their lives to me, my brother, and my sister.  We lived in a Beaver Cleaver type of little town where people kept their yards and their houses in apple pie order and bragged about the juiciness of their backyard tomatoes.  My boyhood peaked in 1962 when I was the leading hitter (.666) in the 1962 Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania.

But even that happy little childhood of mine had a dark cloud hovering over it at all times.  The threat of nuclear war was ingrained into us as early as kindergarten when we learned to follow with military efficiency the infamous “duck and cover” air raid drill.  Then, there was the bomb shelter craze, which my hometown got into in a very competitive “keep up with the Joneses” way.  It was said that we would be a prime target for a hydrogen bomb because of our proximity to the large oil refineries and chemical plants along the Delaware River. 

My friend Frankie’s father built the Cadillac of bomb shelters in his back yard.  It had the latest in shag carpeting and plaid wall paper.  We played board games down there after school, and pretended that we were sitting out the nuclear winter following a Russian missile attack on our little town.  I hoped that a real nuclear winter wouldn’t take more than a few hours.  Frankie’s flatulence was deadly underground.

 That attack almost came four years later when Kennedy and Khruschev staged their little two week nuclear showdown over  Cuba.  I will never forget one of my teachers peering out the window during those 13 days of tension and saying, “Hmmmm. Nice day for a bombing.”  Very reassuring  to young teenagers. For Frankie, however, those two weeks were heaven.  He was never more popular.  After the missile crisis was over, however, girl after girl dumped him without even the pretense of remorse.  Poor Frankie. 

I felt better about the world when the Soviet Union toppled, but before you could say peace in our time,  up popped Al Qaeda’s  terrorism and Al Gore’s global warming.  Throw in a worldwide stock market collapse and a Great Recession and all of a sudden there was plenty to worry about again.

Our little question about “If there were a nuclear war and you and Dick Cheney/Lady Gaga were the only survivors, would you have sex with him/her in order to re-propagate the human race” has set me thinking about the inevitability of a worldwide apocalypse happening in the next few decades, maybe sooner.  My own nightmare scenario is basically grounded in a financial collapse rather than a military attack or an ecological disaster.

It works like this: Greece (the historical foundation of our civilization) goes bankrupt;  a couple of oil rich sheikdoms go bankrupt;  Portugal and Spain go bankrupt; the European Economic Union falls apart when Germany pulls out;  China invades several of its neighbors starting with North Korea;  tactical nuclear weapons are exchanged in Asia; the United States becomes an economic orphan cut off from access to off shore industrial and technological production centers; our debt ridden federal government teeters, totters, and collapses; regional militias arise;  North America turns into the Western Europe of 800 AD;  our technological systems degrade and disappear;  and those of us who worked in libraries 40 years ago and who stowed away discarded hand cranked ditto machines in our garages and hoarded bound books from the Grim Weeder , begin to reorganize society into workable units of food producing communes protected by random bands of mercenaries.

What part will libraries play in sustaining the re-growth of civilization?  My guess is just like in the 8^th, 9^th, and 10^th centuries, libraries will be at the center of everything. 

Librarians, are you ready to take over the post apocalyptic world?

Unwinders: Now it’s your turn to paint a bleak but realistic picture of the coming apocalypse.  Here are some questions to help you along the road to the intersection of Gloom and Doom.

1.        What is your personal vision of the coming apocalypse? 

2.       Will the collapse of civilization as we know it come from war, terrorism, climate change, ecological disaster, or financial disintegration?

3.       When do you think the apocalypse will happen?

4.       In your post apocalyptic world, what role will libraries and librarians play?

5.       Are Dick Cheney and Lady Gaga the right people for the apocalyptic question about re-propagating the human race?

6.       Anything else you want to add to this cheery topic? 

REMEMBER…THIS BLOG IS A GROUP EFFORT.  THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.  ENJOY YOUR CELL PHONES.

Although the May poll was primarily an experiment in how to use the survey function on this blog, it did produce some interesting results.

Where, given their choice, do we librarians prefer to read?   We like our comfortable easy chair, our bed, the great outdoors, the beach, and our bathtub.  I was glad to see that the bathtub picked up votes as the month went along because I was beginning to think that my bathtub preference was a little odd.  What does all this mean?  Well we’ve been obsessing in this blog about on-line everything…educating, reading, writing, and researching.   To me our little May poll speaks “volumes” about the longevity of the traditional paper and print book.  Do you want to take a machine to bed? No .  Do you want to take a machine into the bathtub?  A thousand times NO.  Do you want to take a machine to the barcalounger.  No, no, and no!  How about the beach?  Forget it. So our wildly unscientific research has confirmed that real books have a real role to play in real lives.  Nuff said.

Next question: where do librarians prefer to have sex?  The answer unsurprisingly is in bed where God intended it.  But, did anyone else raise an eyebrow that 6% of our wildly unscientific survey universe prefers to do the deed in the library?  What, in the name of Sigmund Freud, is up with that?

Finally, do we prefer to snuggle into bed with a good book and a steamy cup of Earl Grey or do we prefer to cuddle our partners and watch a steamy video of the aristocratic Earl of Grey?  The numbers for this little dilemma show that the book wins decisively, and the numbers for this preference were constant throughout the month.  Very interesting? Yes.  Very surprising?  No. 

If you’ve been paying attention to the remarks of many librarians when the subject of the future of the book comes up there is always the chatter about the touch and feel and textures of a book…the tactile pleasures of a book.  Some wax on rhapsodically about the richness of leather covers and the pleasing tautness of a perfectly sewn binding.  I could go on but you get the point.  Librarians love real books for more than the mere words.  Too bad Freud isn’t around to explain it all to us.

In Freud’s absence here are my theories about why you prefer the book:  

• Books don’t talk back.
• Books don’t snore.
• Books don’t have headaches.
• Books don’t have annoying personal traits although some books smell bad.
• You can dump a book that you don’t like and not have to see a lawyer about it.
• Books are always there on the nightstand when you wake up in the morning.
• Books don’t get jealous.  You can involve yourself with several books during the course of a day.
• Books don’t expect anything in return for pleasure given.
• Books don’t wrinkle and sag over time.
• You don’t have to buy jewelry or a hunting rifle for a book.
• Books don’t roll over on to your side of the bed.
• Books don’t pull the covers away from you.

But books do have one big limitation: they can’t be your soulmate for eternity.  Hmmmmm.

Now unwinders it’s your turn to play Dr. Freud.  How do you interpret the results of the May Poll?  Here are some questions to get you started.

1.  Do you agree with my conclusion that books are here to stay because basically who wants to take a battery driven machine to bed and all the other places where librarians prefer to read?
2. The easy chair scored high as a reading venue.  Do you have a special reading chair with a special reading lamp in your home?
3. 6% of the respondents indicated their favorite place to have sex is in the library?  Please, Dr. Freud, tell me why!
4. I gave you my theory why a decisive majority of librarians prefer reading to cuddling and snuggling.  What is your theory, Sigmund?
5. Anything surprise you about the May poll?
6. Anything more you want to comment on the May poll?

Before you get away, please keep working on the answers to yesterday’s post.  I have decided to change questions #3 and #4 (on the basis of the logical comment of an anonymous unwinder) from “Which celebrity would you most want to marry”  to “Which celebrity do you consider sexiest?”  Does that change the answers you have suggested for those questions?  Please post new comments on yesterday’s post to today’s comment area.  Thanks.  Keep working on it.  We will get there.  BTW, I’ve pretty well settled on Cheney for question #1 but need an equal to Cheney on #2.  Not sure Anne Coulter is the answer.   Think hard. I know you can do it.

REMEMBER…THIS BLOG IS A GROUP EFFORT.  THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.  LET’S HAVE FUN WITH THIS.  YOU ALL NEED MORE FUN IN YOUR LIVES  AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

Okay, it’s time to get serious about re-running the 1992 librarians and sex survey, but I need your help on pop culture.  Back in ’92 I wasn’t really up on my pop culture.  I’m even less up on it now.  For instance , in the area of music I basically only listen to the 2 M’s: Miles Davis and Mozart, and it’s Mozart 95% of the time.   If you’ve forgotten the questions and answers from 1992, click on survey.

Here is a very rough draft of the updated survey.  These are the 6 questions that I intend to ask in the June Poll.  By the way the May Poll is coming along nicely.  If you haven’t voted, now’s the time to vote.

Clearly I need your help on the questions for the June Poll:

Nuclear War and the Re-Propagation of the Human Race

1. Female librarians, if there were a nuclear war and you and Dick Cheney were the only survivors, would you have sex with him to propagate the human race?

 

1. Male librarians, if there were a nuclear war and you and Sarah Palin were the only survivors, would you have sex with her to propagate the human race?

Unwinders, I have substituted Cheney and Palin for Peewee and Roseanne.  Are you okay with that or do you have better names? Also should I change nuclear war to climate catastrophe?  I think the general consensus now is that climate change is a bigger threat than nuclear war.

Librarians and their Attraction to Celebrities

1. Female librarians, of the following list of celebrities who would you most want to marry?

 

1. Male librarians, of the following list of celebrities who would you most want to marry?

 

Unwinders, I need a list of at least 10 celebrities for each question.  Include LGBT inclusive names.  I am totally out of touch with pop culture.  Please include names for boomers too…folks like Redford, Gibson, Ford, Sawyer, Couric,  and Keaton.  Our profession is aging and the list needs to reflect that too, doesn’t it?  We need to cover all points on the diversity spectrum.  Thanks.  I’m clueless on the trendier, younger  names  although I’m vaguely aware of a Madonna wannabe named Lady Godiva.

BTW…here are the celebrities from the 92 survey for men in the order of their popularity: Kathleen Turner 27%;  Jane Fonda 25%;  Dolly Parton 14%;  Diane Keaton 13%;  Diane Sawyer 8%;  Madonna 6%;  Prince 4%; Elton John 2%;  and 1% split among Marla Maples, Yoko Ono, Dianna Ross, and Tina Turner.

Here are the celebrities from the 92 survey for women in the order of their popularity: Robert Redford 60%;  Patrick Swayze (rip) 18%;  Woody Allen 7%;  Michael Jordan 5%;  Martina Navratilova 4%;  Cher 3%;  Eddie Van Halen  2%;  and 1% was split between Prince, Dan Quayle, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Geraldo Rivera, and Michael Jackson (rip).

Librarians and Pornography

1.  Do you think that libraries should filter children’s room computers to block out pornography?
2. Do you think that libraries should filter all public computers to block out pornography?

It’s your turn, unwinders.  To make the June poll a success I need you to answer these questions:

1. What male name best fits the spirit of the nuclear war question?
2. What female name best fits the spirit of the nuclear war question?
3. Should nuclear war be updated to climate catastrophe?
4. What celebrity names would you give for males to select from?
5. What celebrity names would you give for females to select from?
6. Any changes to the porn in the library questions?
7. Any other random issues that I missed here with the 6 proposed questions for the June poll?

REMEMBER THIS BLOG IS A GROUP EFFORT.  THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.  RESEARCH LEADS TO INFORMATION.  INFORMATION LEADS TO KNOWLEDGE.  KNOWLEDGE LEADS TO WISDOM.  WISDOM LEADS TO ……………….FILL IN THE BLANK.

Last Thursday’s post about Laptop University sparked a highly charged discussion on the relative merits of on line education.   I, for one, learned tons and am very appreciative of all the librarians, students, and teachers who participated so vigorously.  It was a great conversation.    

  After sitting through face to face classes all through grade school, high school, college, and two stints of graduate school and having enjoyed and benefited from that approach, it’s hard for me to accept the fact that a far different approach could be as good or even, in some ways, better.  After reading all the testimonies from students and teachers alike, however, it is clear that on-line learning provides opportunities to open up our profession to those who in the past, for geographical, financial, or family reasons never had a chance to get an ALA accredited degree.  That’s a good thing. 

There are four other things I have learned about on-line education: 1) with time and experimentation, on-line education is becoming a better and better educational delivery system, 2) just like in a classroom situation, students get out of it what they put into it , 3) also just as in a face to face system,  the on-line educational experience is largely determined by the preparation, work ethic, teaching ability, technical skills, accessibility, and subject mastery of the instructor,  and 4) a whole new cohort of students (of all ages) and a whole new cadre of instructors (of all ages) have embraced the on-line approach and are making the system work effectively. 

As I said in my post last Thursday, there is no doubt that on-line learning will be the dominant educational delivery system for students seeking a Masters Degree in Library and/or Information Science in the not too distant future.  My hunch is that it probably already is.  If someone has statistics on the number of on-line MLS students versus the number of traditional classroom MLS students, please give us that vital information in the comment area below.

If we accept the premise that on-line will rule the day, what does that mean for the profession?   I personally am convinced that it means a much tech savvier group of librarians who will pioneer new and innovative on-line services to the patron.   Does this mean that the library as a physical place will eventually disappear?  I honestly don’t know.  I do know that libraries are very expensive to maintain and operate, and I do know that governments at every level seem to be in a continuous cutback mode. You tell me if you think books will eventually become museum artifacts rather than library resources.  That question, in the words of President Obama, is above my pay grade. 

Keep in mind that there is a prep school in the Boston Area, the Cushing Academy, where the Headmaster  wrote the following letter to the school’s parents: “As a natural and integral outgrowth of the school’s strategic commitment to becoming the national leader in twenty-first century secondary education, Cushing Academy is replacing  the library’s printed books with electronic sources.”

A second question that I wonder about is how far and how fast the on-line education revolution will spread.  Now that it has a strong foothold in many graduate schools and in some undergraduate schools,  will it spread to all colleges and universities (even the eastern elite schools)?  Will it spread to high school and elementary education.  Will it become the preferred delivery system for home schooling?  Keep in mind how badly our public school districts have been hit by the Great Worldwide Recession.

So…all you unwinding on-line library people, you have much to comment on today.  I do hope we hear from that excellent group of on-line students and instructors that we heard from last Thursday.  To review …here are some suggested questions for comments:

• Does anyone know the current ratio of on-line MLS students to face to face MLS students?
• How soon do you think all graduate library schools will become fully on-line with no face to face options?
• How soon will the on-line revolution spread to elementary schools, high schools, and home schools?
• Will the elite Ivy League type colleges ever offer on-line degrees or is such a concept completely beneath them?
• Will the influx of on-line MLS graduates into the library profession accelerate the concept of the library without walls?
• Gaze into your crystal ball and give me a year when you think hardcover and paperback books will primarily be museum artifacts rather than  library resources.
• Anything else you want to throw into the discussion.

REMEMBER…THIS BLOG IS A GROUP EFFORT.  THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.  IT’S GREAT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH  ALL OF YOU ON-LINE.

From now on Sundays will be devoted to the Will/Bill mystery project.  If you want a detailed explanation of the project click on whodunit.  If you want to see the latest list of books for the project click on mystery list.

Essentially, the project is an attempt to get me into a genre of books I have despised and disparaged in the past.  Why read something I don’t like?  Well, because I honestly haven’t given it a fair trial.  The mystery genre has to be one of the most popular if not the most popular sections of the average public library.  It is a genre that is attracting some of the best young authors writing today.  I need to give it a second chance. 

The other reason, of course, is Bill Ott.  Bill Ott, editor and publisher of Booklist, is the library profession’s premier bookman.  Bill is also an unabashed lover of the mystery genre.  If Bill says mysteries constitute a worthy literary genre, who am I to doubt the master?

The other compelling reason for the project has been to throw out a readers’ advisory challenge that all of you have had an opportunity to have fun with.  The list, which will be whittled down to 75 titles by next Sunday,  has been the result of your group effort.  Now the fun begins for me.  I get to start reading, reviewing, and rating. 

Here are the updated rules for the project:

1. Will  must give a fair trial for each book on the list.  If after 50 pages he absolutely can’t stand the book, he may invoke the name of Nancy Pearl and abandon the offending author forever.
2. Once past 50 pages, however, Will must persevere to the end, and may not under any circumstances flip to the final page to find out who the murderer is.
3. Will must assign 1 to 5 stars for each book and report back each Sunday on this blog to give a full progress update.
4. Will must read at least 5 mysteries in a row before picking up a non-mystery book.  This requirement will last for the duration of the project and includes Finnegans Wake.
5. Will has one year to complete the project.

Actually, I started the project today by spending the better part of the morning at the Livermore (CA) Public Library getting a feel for the books I will be reading.  Already, I have made progress.  I had thought about several approaches to attacking the list: a) alphabetical by title, b) alphabetical by author, c) chronological by copyright date, d) alternating between subgenres (historical, cozies, psychological, catnip, etc.), or e)  having my grandkids pick names randomly from a hat.

What I discovered this morning is that none of those approaches will work.  I am going to do it by feel.  What book am I in the mood for today?  What is the cover like?  What does the dust jacket say?  Is there a rave blurb from a reviewer (possibly, Bill)?  How does the author’s photograph strike me?  Is this the person I want to spend time with this week?  When you come down to it, picking out books is more about a feeling or an intuitive sense than anything else.  So much for RA being a library *science*.

What am I in the mood for today? I’m in the mood for funny.  The book I am starting with is Donna Andrews’ Murder With Peacocks.  I read only the first page but guess what my reaction was …lol.

Unwinders, we’re off to a good start.  Whoever put Andrews on the list gets a gold star….unless I can’t stand the next 350 pages!  See you next Sunday.

The Will/Bill mystery list is almost complete.  I have 79 authors and 80 titles.  If you do not know what the Will/Bill project is you need to click on whodunit.

We have had a lot of good debates on this blog this week.  Let’s see.  There was the debate over whether or not the American Library Association should or should not  boycott the state of Arizona over the new illegal immigration law.  There was the debate over whether libraries should institute and implement a zero tolerance policy on porn watching on library computers.  There was the debate about whether or not libraries should allow employees the freedom to browse the internet to their heart’s content on work time.  Finally, there was the debate over  which is better: the traditional classroom approach to teaching library science or the on-line approach to teaching the same material.  All of those issues were thoroughly examined and discussed in a most insightful and civil manner.  Many librarians joined in the fray.  It was a wonderful week here at Will Unwound.  You unwinders reached a new level of participation.  Thank you for making this blog a group effort. 

But no debate really touched me personally like the debate we had last weekend over which titles should end up on the Will/Bill mystery project list.  When the discussion touched on the relative merits of two books by the legendary Dorothy L. Sayers, Gaudy Night and Murder Must Advertise, I was completely captivated by the passion expressed. 

This debate characterized what librarianship is all about, a love of books and literature.  While much of the discussion this week dwelled on machines: the internet and the various tools of on-line learning, it was tremendously reassuring to me that librarians have not lost their passion for good stories.  Yes we talk about the importance of information as though it is the main commodity that we warehouse, retrieve, and retail,  but it’s good to emphasize that a large part of the work we do is provide stories to our patrons. 

That my unwinding friends is what we call Readers’ Advisory work and more than any other part of librarianship it requires passion.  You cannot be a good RA librarian without a passion for books!  Thank you for demonstrating to me that the passion for good stories is alive and well in our increasingly high tech profession.

This week, the task is pretty simple.  I need to whittle five authors off of the list.  I need to get down to 75 books, which I think is a workable number to make this a one year project.  Your job, therefore, is to pore over the list and weed out five books.  Yes, unwinders, weeding is a lost art that I am forcing you to do as our weekend activity, but it is the other half of RA work, the half that no one likes to talk about.  You will notice when you examine the list that I have been the quirky patron who has added some authors and subtracted some on his own.  Remember that patrons don’t always do what you tell them to, and I am as quirky as the next guy.  Thanks for understanding.

As always, have fun!

THE WILL/BILL MYSTERY LIST 

Andrews, Donna – Murder with Peacocks

Arruda, Suzanne – Mark of the Lion

Atherton, Nancy –Aunt Dimity’s Death

Atkinson, Kat –  When There Will Be Good News

Barr, Nevada –Blind Descent

Beaton, M. C. – Death of a Gossip

Black, Benjamin – Christine Falls

Braun, Lillian Jackson –The Cat who could Read Backwards

Brett, Simon  – Dead Side of the Mike

Burke, James Lee – The Neon Rain

Castillo, Linda – Sworn to Silence

Christie, Agatha – And Then There Were None

Connelly, Michael  -  The Lincoln Lawyer

Cotterill,  Colin – Coroner’s Lunch

Crais, Robert – The Monkey’s Raincoat

Crombie, Deborah – A Share in the Death

Davis, Lindsey –Silver Pigs

Dexter, Colin – The Wench is Dead

De Poy, Phillip – A Minister’s Ghost

Doyle, Sir Conan – Hound of the Baskervilles

Eco, Umberto – Name of the Rose

Evanovich, Janet – One for the Money

Fairstein, Linda – Lethal Legacy

Fforde, Jasper – Eyre Affair

Fleming, Julia Spencer – In the Bleak Midwinter

Flynn, Gillian – Sharp Objects

Fowler, Christopher – Full Dark Horse

Franklin, Ariana – Mistress of the Art of Death

French, Tara – In the Woods   

Gaus, P.L. – Blood of the Prodigal

George, Elizabeth – A Great Deliverance

Gilbert, Michael – Smallbone Deceased

Grafton, Sue – A for Alibi

Gregorio, Michael – Critique of Criminal Reason

Haddam, Jane – Not a Creature Was Stirring

Hall, James – Under the Cover of Daylight

Harris, Joanne – Gentlemen and Players

Hoban, Russell – Riddley Walker

James, P.D. – A Taste of Death

King, Lauri e –Beekeeper’s Apprentice

King, Ross – Ex Libris

Krueger, William Kent – Iron Lake

Larsson, Steig – The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo

Lehanne, Dennis –Mystic River

Lovesey, Peter – Swing, Swing Together

Lutz, Lisa –Spellman Files

Macbride, Stuart – Cold Granite

Mankell, Henning – Faceless Killers  

Maron, Margaret –Bootlegger’s Daughter

McCall Smith, Alexander – #1 Ladies Detective Agency

McCrumb, Sharyn – She Walks These Hills  

McDermid, Val – Place of Execution

McDonald, John D. – Deep Blue Goodbye

McDonald, Ross  – Moving Target

Moore, Christopher – Fluke

Neville, Katherine – The Eight

O’Connell, Carol – Judas Child

Pattison, Eliot – The Skull Mantra

Parker, Robert  - Godwulf Manuscript  

Pearl, Matthew –Dante Club

Pears, Iain – An Instance of the Fingerpost

Penny, Louise – The Brutal Telling

Perez-Reverte , Arturo – The Club Dumas

Perry, Anne  The Face of the Stranger

Peters, Elizabeth – Crocodile in the Sandbank

Peters, Ellis – Morbid Taste for Bones

Pickard, Nancy – Scent of Rain and Lightning

Preston, Douglas and Child, Lincoln – Cabinet of Curiosities  

Robinson, Linda S. – Murder in the Place of Anubis

Rozan, S.J. – Concourse

Sandford, John  -  Rules of Prey

Sayers, Dorothy L.  – Gaudy Night  

Sayers, Dorothy L. -   Murder Must Advertise

Stout, Rex – Nero Wolfe series – Doorbell Rang

Taylor, Elizabeth – Angel

Tey, Josephine – Daughter of Time

Westlake, Donald  - Dancing Aztecs

Willis, Connie – To Say Nothing of the Dog

Winspear, Jaqueline  - Maisie Dobbs

Woodrell, Daniel – Winter’s Bone